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Tag Archives: addictive behaviors

Now is the time to Make 2015 Your Best Year Ever!

03 Monday Nov 2014

Posted by crossroads420 in Alcoholism, Anxiety, Depression, Eating Disorders, Grief and Loss, Substance Abuse, therapy for women, Uncategorized, women and relationships

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#panic attacks #anxiety #compulsive behaviors #depression #relationship problems #eating disorders, addictive behaviors, anxiety, codependency, depression, eating disorders, relationship issues, stress

Make 2015 Your Masterpiece

We have a program this weekend!  Our schedule for November and December here:
http://www.crossroadsprogramsforwomen.com/Workshop%20Schedule.htm
Special pricing during the holidays. Celebrate the New Year with knowledge on how to change your life!  Call us at 800-348-0937 or use the contact form below!

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Thought for the Day: If You Can’t Change the Situation, Change Yourself!

20 Monday Oct 2014

Posted by crossroads420 in Alcoholism, Anxiety, Depression, Eating Disorders, Grief and Loss, Substance Abuse, therapy for women, Uncategorized, women and relationships

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#depression, #eating disorders #crossroads programs for women #diet help, #panic attacks #anxiety #compulsive behaviors #depression #relationship problems #eating disorders, addictive behaviors, binge eating, codependency, recovery, stress

The High Cost of Unresolved Issues

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Pain is Inevitable: Suffering is Optional?

17 Friday Oct 2014

Posted by crossroads420 in Alcoholism, Anxiety, Depression, Eating Disorders, Grief and Loss, Substance Abuse, therapy for women, women and relationships

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addictive behaviors, anxiety, binge eating, codependency, depression, eating disorders, grief and loss, panic, stress

It is true that pain and sadness are part of the journey of life. I recently read this: “There is sadness but there is no suffering.” It was a statement meant to challenge most individuals’ belief about pain and suffering. The writer went on to say that pain and sadness are part of life but it is only when we resist our feelings that suffering happens.

When pain happens our natural tendency is to resist and deny the feelings. But…are we really denying ourselves when we resist our feelings? A second response is to run away from the feelings in a panic. But running away is followed by running after the feelings in order to control them. These actions actually reinforce the feelings as they subconsciously demand that we face them.

How can we break the cycle and avoid needless suffering? We must allow ourselves to be aware of the feeling. Then we need to acknowledge the feeling. The final step is to accept the feeling. So the thoughts change from I have lost that person/thing and I can’t go on (resistance) to I have lost that person/thing and I am sad.

The suffering lessens as we accept our sadness as a normal response to the loss. Then the process of healing can begin. Thus the writer’s statement: There is sadness but no suffering. Change is inevitable in life and often causes pain. If we can learn to face our feelings, we can accept their legitimacy in our journey.

We get stuck in our lives due to many factors: wounds of the past, conflicts of the present, and fears of the future. At Crossroads, we help women identify and accept their own definition of normal as part of their journey to happiness.  We provide a therapeutic setting free of judgment or shame to allow women to explore their needs and recognize how to achieve their goals. With expert guidance and a supportive environment of women who share your struggles, you will begin to understand the “whys” and learn how to move beyond today with a new confidence to change your life.

Bonnie Harken, NCLC, Founder and CEO of Crossroads Programs for Women has spent the last 30 years assisting individuals begin their journey of healing. Begin your journey of finding renewal, hope, joy, direction and passion.  Each program is a blend of lectures, group discussion, and therapeutic exercises offering a healing curriculum. We explore the spiritual components of healing from a non denominational Christian perspective.  Why continue to struggle? Tomorrow does not have to be like today. We can help you.

Our next program:
Learning to Love Yourself
Saturday October 25th – Tuesday October 28th! 

There is still time to be part of this compassionate journey to self-acceptance and healing pathway to self-fulfillment, a Four Day Intensive Outpatient Program.  Call us for more information 800-348-0937.  All inquiries are confidential  Or click on this link or copy and paste into your browser for more information!http://www.crossroadsprogramsforwomen.com/WellsofChangeProgram.html
http://www.crossroadsprogramsforwomen.com

 

 


[1] Article references available upon request

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Crossroads Includes Hormone and Neurotransmitter Testing to Support Patients in Therapy

26 Friday Sep 2014

Posted by crossroads420 in Anxiety, Depression, Eating Disorders, Grief and Loss, Substance Abuse, therapy for women, Uncategorized, women and relationships

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#depression, #eating disorders #crossroads programs for women #diet help, #relationship problems, addictive behaviors, anxiety, stress, therapy for women

Our 5 day outpatient program-Reclaim Your Hope- and our 4 day outpatient program-Learning to Love Yourself- now include this testing free of charge to you to help detect the physiological issues complicating your emotional wellbeing. These tests will provide additional information that may be very helpful in your recovery. Therapy is directly supported when the biochemistry of the body is addressed.

What Are These Tests?

  • Two noninvasive, simple-to-take tests
  • They are based on samples of saliva and urine that are sent to a lab for analysis to test neurotransmitter and hormone levels.
  • Providing comprehensive, important information on how the systems of your body are working and how they affect your emotional well-being.
  • We have a special expert guest speaker during the program who will answer any questions you may have

Are you on anti-depressant or anti-anxiety medication? You can take the lab results from these tests to your physician to see if another medication may be more helpful or you may choose a more natural, holistic path. That is your choice! The test results will also include specific nutritional recommendations to assist in the restoration and resetting of the nervous system.

An emotion is the psychophysiological response to the interactions between biochemical and environmental stimuli. Many expressed emotions have been shown to stimulate specific brain regions. It is directly and indirectly influenced by the immune system, chronic inflammation, and mental thoughts.  Mental and emotional therapies for behavioral modifications are directly supported when biochemistry is also addressed. Assessment of neurotransmitter levels can provide valuable information about the status of the nervous system and its interaction with other systems in the body.

How Can These Tests Help?

Depression: It is very common for women with depression to take antidepressant therapies recommended by their doctor.  Commonly prescribed medications for depression work by altering brain signaling via neurotransmitter modulation. Assessment of neurotransmitters involved in depression can be helpful in selecting the best class of medication, tracking the medication’s effects, and determining the success of the medication.

Anxiety: Anxiety disorders can vary greatly in severity and duration, and accordingly, a variety of treatment plans are available. Assessment of neurotransmitter levels can provide valuable information about the status of the nervous system and its interaction with other systems in the body. The immune system can be evaluated in a number of ways to identify the presence and cause of inflammation or other root causes of anxiety. Once the biochemical abnormalities contributing to anxiety are identified, a personalized treatment approach to depression can be undertaken.

Stress: The way in which you manage stress throughout your life can have a substantial impact on your health and wellbeing. Modern living has created unnatural stress that the body can no longer adapt to at a certain point. In individuals with trouble coping, this can potentially lead to issues such as inflammatory or immune problems, in addition to neurotransmitter imbalances. Looking in to the potential cause of stress is essential in resolving the associated symptoms. Making an effort to reduce the stressors commonly present in everyday life is important, as well as providing support to help your body better deal with stress. Laboratory evaluation of neurotransmitter levels can lead your healthcare practitioner to suggest targeted amino acid therapy customized to your test results as well as your symptoms.

Hormone issues can lead to a variety of clinical symptoms. Often these issues are addressed as only a hormone problem. It is also important to consider the possible involvement of nervous, endocrine, and immune systems. The nervous system is the central regulator of the endocrine system. The immune system can override both. Evaluation of all three of these systems is needed in order to arrive at the correct diagnosis and treatment plan. Hormones and neurotransmitters can become imbalanced due to stressors on the body such as chronic inflammation, immune issues, anxiety, or depression.

What Do These Tests Cost?

These tests are expensive and only partially covered by most insurance plans.  At Crossroads we are women helping women. We know from personal experience the physical changes in our bodies throughout our lives. We understand that emotions are complex and believe that finding the right solutions based on a body, mind and spirit approach is an important component of healing. It is for this reason that this testing and education is being added to our program WITHOUT ANY ADDITIONAL COST TO YOU!

We limit the size of our groups in order to provide the most intensive therapeutic experience in a condensed format! Now these expensive tests as part of our treatment protocol in order to provide the best possible quality of care we can provide. Don’t miss out on this opportunity!

There is Still Time to Register for Our Upcoming October Program
Learning to Love Yourself – October 24-27, 2014

Questions?  Call 800-348-0937 or email me! bresourceful@earthlink.net
More information also at www.crossroadsprogramsforwomen.com

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Goodbye Summer; Hello Fall!

12 Friday Sep 2014

Posted by crossroads420 in Alcoholism, Anxiety, Depression, Eating Disorders, Grief and Loss, Substance Abuse, therapy for women, women and relationships

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#panic attacks #anxiety #compulsive behaviors #depression #relationship problems #eating disorders, addiction help, addictive behaviors, anxiety, attachment disorders, binge eating, codependency, depression

I have always loved fall. The crisp air, jackets and pretty sweaters, the leaves in beautiful colors, pumpkin latte, homemade soup! The holidays are right around the corner. But for many, the holidays are filled with disappointments and sadness not the happiness they anticipated. Unrealistic expectations and faulty thinking can sabotage our ability to enjoy life’s simple blessings. Nothing changes if nothing changes. You can change your life by changing your thoughts. You can learn how at Crossroads. Don’t procrastinate. Every day counts!

 The High Cost of Unresolved Emotional Issues

  • Broken relationships
  • Unresolved conflicts and wounds
  • Loss of passion
  • Loss of self esteem
  • Loss of dreams
  • Loss of hope
  • Loss of love
  • Unrealized potential
  • Parental failures
  • Loss of physical health
  • Sleep problems
  • Destructive addictive behaviors

On a scale of 1-10, how much do you want to change the high cost you are paying for your unresolved issues?

If you answered this question with an 8 or above, we can help!  We are scheduling for our September outpatient programs now.  All calls are confidential.

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The Destructive Attraction Between Codependents and Narcissists

10 Monday Feb 2014

Posted by crossroads420 in therapy for women

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addictive behaviors, anxiety, binge eating, codependency, depression, eating disorders, panic, stress

The Destructive Attraction Between Codependents and Narcissists

Have you assessed the relationships in your life, both past and present, and wondered why you attract the same type of man or woman over and over?  There has been a lot written in the field of psychology about the attraction between codependents and narcissists.

Basically, narcissists focus on themselves; codependents focus on others.  For purposes of definition, a narcissist is a person who displays abnormal self-love with an exaggerated sense of superiority. They often seek attention and admiration from others and believe that they are better than others and are therefore entitled to special treatment. A narcissist is very charming in order to seduce people into liking them.  Their ability to seduce is amazing.  They want you to fall in love and bond with them so they can finally emerge as their true selves without being abandoned. The narcissist is attracted to the codependent who feels perfect to them because they are allowed to take the lead which makes them feel powerful, competent, and appreciated.  Narcissistic Personality Disorders (NPD) is a personality disorder which can be diagnosed and treated by a mental health professional.

Codependency is a learned behavior in which a person enters a relationship with another person and becomes emotionally dependent on him or her. Codependent people maintain an exaggerated sense of responsibility toward the other people in their relationships. They tend to do more than their share in their relationships and are hurt when they do not get recognition for it. Codependents confuse caretaking and sacrifice with loyalty and love.  They are proud of their loyalty and dedication to the person they love, but they end up feeling used and unappreciated.  They often are sensitive to criticism, are inflexible to change and have problems with intimacy.

Codependency is not considered a mental disorder.  However, it is a set of unhealthy behaviors which can cripple and sabotage the lives we desire because it involves manipulation, decision making and confrontation avoidance, over controlling, lack of trust, and perfectionism.

Codependents find narcissistic partners deeply appealing.  They are attracted to their charm, boldness, and confident personality.  When the narcissist and the codependent become partners, the romance sizzles with excitement in the beginning.  But the narcissist fears a loss of identity and is sensitive to everything that leads to bonding.  They might pick fights and uproars to avoid bonding, use seduce and withhold behaviors, and many other ways to sabotage intimacy and bonding.   Eventually the thrilling romance transforms into drama, conflict, feelings of neglect and feeling trapped.

Codependents confuse care taking and sacrifice with loyalty and love.  They are proud of their loyalty and dedication to the person they love, but they end up feeling used and unappreciated. Codependents desire harmony and balance but they consistently chose a partner to whom they are initially attracted but will eventually resent.  They are resistant to leaving their partner because of their lack of self esteem and self respect.  What they fail to realize is that without self esteem or self respect, they are  incapable of choosing a mutually giving and unconditionally loving partner.  Their fear of being alone, compulsion to fix the relationship at any cost, and comfort with the martyr role is often an extension of their yearning to be loved, respected, and cared for as a child. Although codependents dream of an unconditionally loving and affirming partner, they submit to their dysfunctional destiny until they decide to heal the psychological wounds that ultimately compel them to pick narcissistic partners.

Both forms of dysfunction are often the result of childhood experiences.  The narcissist has often experienced excessive pampering, neglect, or abuse.  The codependent has usually learned the behavior from other family members. It is important to note neither condition is gender specific. A narcissist can be a man or woman and likewise a codependent can be a man or woman. Narcissists are often sex addicts or love addicts.   In the past male narcissistic sex addicts have been referred to as “Don Juan or Casanova” and females as “black widow spiders”.

In psychotherapy narcissists are encouraged to develop more realistic self-esteem and expectations for other people. Codependents benefit from group therapy to help them rediscover their identity and stop self-defeating behavior.

Bonnie Harken, NCLC, Founder and CEO of Crossroads Programs for Women has spent the last 30 years assisting individuals begin their journey of healing. Begin your journey of finding renewal, hope, joy, direction and passion.  Each program is a blend of lectures, group discussion, and therapeutic exercises offering a healing curriculum. We explore the spiritual components of healing from a non denominational Christian perspective.  Why continue to struggle? Tomorrow does not have to be like today. We can help you.

Our next program:  Learning to Love Yourself, Saturday October 25th – Tuesday October 28th!  There is still time to be part of this compassionate journey to self-acceptance and healing pathway to self-fulfillment, a Four Day Intensive Outpatient Program.  Click on this link or copy and paste into your browser for more information!http://www.crossroadsprogramsforwomen.com/WellsofChangeProgram.html
http://www.crossroadsprogramsforwomen.com

800-348-0937

 


[1] Article references available upon request

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Video

Wells of Change Outpatient Program at Crossroads

10 Monday Feb 2014

Posted by crossroads420 in Uncategorized

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addictive behaviors, anxiety, codependency, depression, panic, relationship issues, treatment for women

Wells of Change 4 day Intensive Outpatient Program for Women
Excerpts from a conversation with Kellie Branch-Dircks, LCSW, and Lynne Oliver, LCSW, about this life changing intensive outpatient program for women.
http://www.crossroadsprogramsforwomen.com
800-348-0937

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Video

Updated Video on Our 5 Day Intensive Outpatient Program

10 Monday Feb 2014

Posted by crossroads420 in Uncategorized

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addictive behaviors, anxiety, binge eating, codependency, eating disorders, panic attacks, therapy for women

During this 5 day intensive outpatient program with expert guidance and a supportive environment of women who share your struggles, you will begin to understand the “why’s” and learn how to move beyond today with a new confidence to change your life!
http://www.crossroadsprogramsforwomen.com
800-348-0937

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Video

The Importance of Connections

10 Monday Feb 2014

Posted by crossroads420 in Uncategorized

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addictive behaviors, codependency, depression, eating disorders, relationship issues, therapy for women

This video blog explains the role connections play in a healthy life. What happens when we become disconnected when a woman struggles with depression, codependency, eating disorders, addictive behaviors, relationship issues, grief and loss.
Crossroads Programs for Women
http://www.crossroadsprogramsforwomen.com
800-348-0937

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Is depression more prevalent in women or more diagnosed in women than men?

29 Thursday Aug 2013

Posted by crossroads420 in Depression

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addictive behaviors, and other situational stressors, Cognitive behavioral therapy, depression, Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, eating disorders, grief and loss, Hope, ICD-10, Major depressive disorder, Menopause, Prevalence, relationship issues, University of California Los Angeles

Be sure and respond to the poll at the end of this post!

It is often thought that women are more prone to depression than men.  Figures for the lifetime prevalence of depression vary according to the criteria used to define depression. Using DSM-IV’s criteria for ‘major depressive disorder’ which are similar to the ICD-10 criteria for ‘moderate depression’, the lifetime prevalence of depression is about 15 percent and the point prevalence about 5 percent. This means that an average person has about a one in seven (15 percent) chance of developing depression in the course of his or her lifetime, and about a 1 in 20 (5 percent) chance of suffering from it at this very point in time.[1]

But this may be misleading because it is not gender specific.  Women are twice as likely as men to suffer from depression.  The reasons are not entirely clear but it appears that the answer is biological, psychological, and sociocultural.  Women have higher incidence of fluctuating hormone levels.  Most obvious is postpartum depression and during menopause.  Biologically, we have a greater genetic predisposition to depression.

Women are more likely to think (or overthink?) about problems—which is a strength and a weakness.  We are also by our God-given nature more invested in relationships.  The affect on women of relationship problems often leads to depression.  Men are more apt to react to relationship problems with anger, substance misuse, or with a stoic tolerance that we, as women, see as indifference.

Sustained or chronic stress leads to elevated hormones such as cortisol, the “stress hormone,” and reduced serotonin and other neurotransmitters  in the brain, including dopamine,  which has been linked to depression.

From a cultural standpoint, women often have stress due to multiple responsibilities of working, bringing up children, maintaining a home, caring for older relatives, and the list goes on.  Added to that is that women live longer than men.  The loss of their support system of partners and friends through death and the resulting loneliness combined with declining physical conditions can lead to depression.  A woman is more apt to talk to her physician about her feelings and be diagnosed more frequently with depression.  Which leads us to wondering wether it is more prevalent in women or more diagnosed in women than men?

Regardless of the answer depression results in many women feeling hopeless and helpless.  A research study (Ages and Stages) by the University of California Los Angeles says that younger women depend on friends when depressed but women going through menopause and older rely on medication.  Young women think they can just ‘get over’ depression with the aid of friends and family. This is when the first episode of major depression is most likely – maybe after childbirth or a failed relationship. When women are in their 40’s and 50’s, depression may be assumed to be part of menopause and consequently the condition may go unrecognized. However life changes (children leaving home, divorce and aging parents) may be the actual triggers for depression than menopause.

In their sixties women tend to keep depression to themselves. In this survey, fewer than one in five confided in others. If they are dealing with the loss of a spouse, this can intensify their feeling of isolation. The take-home message of the survey is that younger women should realize that depression is a real illness that may need medical treatment. The older woman should recognize the importance of social support, as well as medication, in treating depression.

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)—which focuses on changing behavior, rather than talking about your childhood, for instance—can be effective with medication or even a substitute for drugs. It is much more focused on what you seem to be doing and thinking that is keeping you depressed.

Hopelessness and helplessness are feelings that overcome us when we are depressed.  Hope is a crucial ingredient in all healing—physical and emotional.  So depression can become very debilitating for this reason.  Ask most women who have experienced depression and they will relate that they just want to stay in bed and pull the covers over their heads!

Hopelessness robs us of the joy of each day and from fully embracing all that life has to offer.  There is help and tomorrow does not have to be like today but things won’t change until the depressed person reaches out for help.

 


[1] Psychology Today

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