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Goodbye Summer; Hello Fall!

12 Friday Sep 2014

Posted by crossroads420 in Alcoholism, Anxiety, Depression, Eating Disorders, Grief and Loss, Substance Abuse, therapy for women, women and relationships

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#panic attacks #anxiety #compulsive behaviors #depression #relationship problems #eating disorders, addiction help, addictive behaviors, anxiety, attachment disorders, binge eating, codependency, depression

I have always loved fall. The crisp air, jackets and pretty sweaters, the leaves in beautiful colors, pumpkin latte, homemade soup! The holidays are right around the corner. But for many, the holidays are filled with disappointments and sadness not the happiness they anticipated. Unrealistic expectations and faulty thinking can sabotage our ability to enjoy life’s simple blessings. Nothing changes if nothing changes. You can change your life by changing your thoughts. You can learn how at Crossroads. Don’t procrastinate. Every day counts!

 The High Cost of Unresolved Emotional Issues

  • Broken relationships
  • Unresolved conflicts and wounds
  • Loss of passion
  • Loss of self esteem
  • Loss of dreams
  • Loss of hope
  • Loss of love
  • Unrealized potential
  • Parental failures
  • Loss of physical health
  • Sleep problems
  • Destructive addictive behaviors

On a scale of 1-10, how much do you want to change the high cost you are paying for your unresolved issues?

If you answered this question with an 8 or above, we can help!  We are scheduling for our September outpatient programs now.  All calls are confidential.

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Depression and Anxiety: The Silent Struggle of Women Who Try to Do It All

12 Thursday Jun 2014

Posted by crossroads420 in Depression, Eating Disorders, therapy for women, Uncategorized, women and relationships

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addiction help, anxiety, depression, help for anxiety, help for women with depression

In an era of multi-tasking, trying to have it all (marriage, children, and career), and high expectations, women are experiencing higher levels of anxiety than our mothers faced a generation ago. Depression and anxiety are different conditions, but they commonly occur together and have similar treatments. They are two of the most common mental health concerns in our society and are often experienced as a complex set of emotional and functional challenges. It is not uncommon for people with depression to experience anxiety and people with anxiety to become depressed. There is also overlap in some of the treatments, so it is beneficial to learn about both conditions.

The science of mind-body medicine helps us understand the ongoing connection between the mind and body and see how anxiety and depression may be triggered by a variety of factors. These can include nutritional, psychological, physical, emotional, environmental, social, and spiritual factors, as well as genetic tendencies or brain disease.

Depression is a common disorder, affecting over 350 million people worldwide. It is a disabling condition that adversely affects a person’s family, work, or school life; sleeping and eating habits; and general health. In the United States, the incidence of depression has increased every year in the past century, and now, according to the Centers for Disease Control, one out of ten people report experiencing a depressive episode.  Depression is typically characterized by low energy and mood, low self-esteem, and loss of interest or pleasure in normally enjoyable activities. Women are 70% more likely than men to experience depression in their lifetime. Men and women experience depression differently—while women tend to experience sadness and guilt, men often feel restless or angry and are more likely to turn to alcohol and drugs to cope. Depression causes unnecessary suffering and is a risk factor for suicide.

Anxiety disorder is characterized by emotional, physical, and behavioral symptoms that create an unpleasant feeling that is typically described as uneasiness, fear, or worry. The worry is frequently accompanied by physical symptoms, especially fatigue, headaches, muscle tension, muscle aches, difficulty swallowing, trembling, twitching, irritability, sweating, and hot flashes. Emotional symptoms include fear, racing thoughts, and a feeling of impending doom. People suffering from anxiety often withdraw and seek to avoid people or certain places.  When suffering from moderate to severe symptoms of depression or anxiety, it is critical to have a working relationship with a provider, or team of providers, who can help you choose your treatment approach and evaluate its effectiveness. The providers may include a primary care physician, nurse practitioner, psychotherapist, or other professional who is philosophically aligned with you, as well as integrative therapy providers. If you are taking any oral natural supplements in combination with conventional prescription medications, it is critical for both the prescriber and the pharmacist to be aware which supplements you are taking.  The Anxiety and Depression Association of America estimates that almost one out of five people suffer from an anxiety disorder, making it the most common mental disorder in the United States. While generalized anxiety disorder is the most common, there are other anxiety disorders, including obsessive-compulsive disorder, panic disorder, phobias, and post-traumatic stress disorder.

We often respond to stressful events in ways that are not particularly helpful. It is important to know that adjusting your attitude can reduce stress. Try the following tips:

  • Accept that there are events you cannot control.
  • Don’t worry about what you can’t change.
  • Be assertive instead of passive or aggressive. Assert your feelings, opinions, or beliefs instead of becoming angry, combative, or passive.
  • Divide large tasks into smaller components to make jobs less overwhelming.
  • Schedule your time wisely and honestly, always allowing time for interruptions and unplanned change.
  • Cognitive behavioral therapy is an effective approach for dealing with distressing thoughts or feelings.

What consumes your mind, controls your life. You can change your thinking and change your life.

Bonnie Harken, Founder and CEO of Crossroads Programs for Women has spent the last 30 years assisting individuals begin their journey of healing. Look for upcoming programs at Crossroads Programs for Women in Pekin. At Crossroads we help you recover from your past, reclaim your dreams, and renew your spirit. Each program is a blend of lectures, group discussion, and therapeutic exercises offering a healing curriculum. We explore the spiritual components of healing from a non-denominational Christian perspective. Why continue to struggle? Tomorrow does not have to be like today. We can help you. Visit www.crossroadsprogramsforwomen.com or call 1-800-348-0937.

 

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The Destructive Attraction Between Codependents and Narcissists

10 Monday Feb 2014

Posted by crossroads420 in therapy for women

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Tags

addictive behaviors, anxiety, binge eating, codependency, depression, eating disorders, panic, stress

The Destructive Attraction Between Codependents and Narcissists

Have you assessed the relationships in your life, both past and present, and wondered why you attract the same type of man or woman over and over?  There has been a lot written in the field of psychology about the attraction between codependents and narcissists.

Basically, narcissists focus on themselves; codependents focus on others.  For purposes of definition, a narcissist is a person who displays abnormal self-love with an exaggerated sense of superiority. They often seek attention and admiration from others and believe that they are better than others and are therefore entitled to special treatment. A narcissist is very charming in order to seduce people into liking them.  Their ability to seduce is amazing.  They want you to fall in love and bond with them so they can finally emerge as their true selves without being abandoned. The narcissist is attracted to the codependent who feels perfect to them because they are allowed to take the lead which makes them feel powerful, competent, and appreciated.  Narcissistic Personality Disorders (NPD) is a personality disorder which can be diagnosed and treated by a mental health professional.

Codependency is a learned behavior in which a person enters a relationship with another person and becomes emotionally dependent on him or her. Codependent people maintain an exaggerated sense of responsibility toward the other people in their relationships. They tend to do more than their share in their relationships and are hurt when they do not get recognition for it. Codependents confuse caretaking and sacrifice with loyalty and love.  They are proud of their loyalty and dedication to the person they love, but they end up feeling used and unappreciated.  They often are sensitive to criticism, are inflexible to change and have problems with intimacy.

Codependency is not considered a mental disorder.  However, it is a set of unhealthy behaviors which can cripple and sabotage the lives we desire because it involves manipulation, decision making and confrontation avoidance, over controlling, lack of trust, and perfectionism.

Codependents find narcissistic partners deeply appealing.  They are attracted to their charm, boldness, and confident personality.  When the narcissist and the codependent become partners, the romance sizzles with excitement in the beginning.  But the narcissist fears a loss of identity and is sensitive to everything that leads to bonding.  They might pick fights and uproars to avoid bonding, use seduce and withhold behaviors, and many other ways to sabotage intimacy and bonding.   Eventually the thrilling romance transforms into drama, conflict, feelings of neglect and feeling trapped.

Codependents confuse care taking and sacrifice with loyalty and love.  They are proud of their loyalty and dedication to the person they love, but they end up feeling used and unappreciated. Codependents desire harmony and balance but they consistently chose a partner to whom they are initially attracted but will eventually resent.  They are resistant to leaving their partner because of their lack of self esteem and self respect.  What they fail to realize is that without self esteem or self respect, they are  incapable of choosing a mutually giving and unconditionally loving partner.  Their fear of being alone, compulsion to fix the relationship at any cost, and comfort with the martyr role is often an extension of their yearning to be loved, respected, and cared for as a child. Although codependents dream of an unconditionally loving and affirming partner, they submit to their dysfunctional destiny until they decide to heal the psychological wounds that ultimately compel them to pick narcissistic partners.

Both forms of dysfunction are often the result of childhood experiences.  The narcissist has often experienced excessive pampering, neglect, or abuse.  The codependent has usually learned the behavior from other family members. It is important to note neither condition is gender specific. A narcissist can be a man or woman and likewise a codependent can be a man or woman. Narcissists are often sex addicts or love addicts.   In the past male narcissistic sex addicts have been referred to as “Don Juan or Casanova” and females as “black widow spiders”.

In psychotherapy narcissists are encouraged to develop more realistic self-esteem and expectations for other people. Codependents benefit from group therapy to help them rediscover their identity and stop self-defeating behavior.

Bonnie Harken, NCLC, Founder and CEO of Crossroads Programs for Women has spent the last 30 years assisting individuals begin their journey of healing. Begin your journey of finding renewal, hope, joy, direction and passion.  Each program is a blend of lectures, group discussion, and therapeutic exercises offering a healing curriculum. We explore the spiritual components of healing from a non denominational Christian perspective.  Why continue to struggle? Tomorrow does not have to be like today. We can help you.

Our next program:  Learning to Love Yourself, Saturday October 25th – Tuesday October 28th!  There is still time to be part of this compassionate journey to self-acceptance and healing pathway to self-fulfillment, a Four Day Intensive Outpatient Program.  Click on this link or copy and paste into your browser for more information!http://www.crossroadsprogramsforwomen.com/WellsofChangeProgram.html
http://www.crossroadsprogramsforwomen.com

800-348-0937

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[1] Article references available upon request

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Video

Wells of Change Outpatient Program at Crossroads

10 Monday Feb 2014

Posted by crossroads420 in Uncategorized

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addictive behaviors, anxiety, codependency, depression, panic, relationship issues, treatment for women

Wells of Change 4 day Intensive Outpatient Program for Women
Excerpts from a conversation with Kellie Branch-Dircks, LCSW, and Lynne Oliver, LCSW, about this life changing intensive outpatient program for women.
http://www.crossroadsprogramsforwomen.com
800-348-0937

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Updated Video on Our 5 Day Intensive Outpatient Program

10 Monday Feb 2014

Posted by crossroads420 in Uncategorized

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Tags

addictive behaviors, anxiety, binge eating, codependency, eating disorders, panic attacks, therapy for women

During this 5 day intensive outpatient program with expert guidance and a supportive environment of women who share your struggles, you will begin to understand the “why’s” and learn how to move beyond today with a new confidence to change your life!
http://www.crossroadsprogramsforwomen.com
800-348-0937

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